Sandra Daniele is a Life Enhancement Coach for women who feel underwhelmed and overwhelmed. She herself was undergoing and getting help for her own issues and shares her story on how she became a certified coach so she can help other women shine, find purpose and passion.
The 8th Level Podcast is about being self-employed, entrepreneurship, and managing our online business. It’s also about connecting to our souls, having the right mindset, and self-care. My name is Lourdes, and I am the host of this show. Thank you for listening to this episode today!
My guest today is Sandra, who is a life enhancement coach. She helps overwhelmed women find their purpose, passion, and joy. She provides one-on-one coaching and group coaching to help women find confidence, clarity, and authentically shine in their truth.
Lourdes: Sandra, welcome to my podcast, and thank you so much for joining me today. How are you?
Sandra: I’m great Lourdes, and thank yo so much for having me on your podcast!
Lourdes: So, the first question I’m curious about is, why did you start your business as a life enhancement coach?
Sandra: I started my business really unintentionally. It started from my own need and my own searching. So I was at a place in my life where I just felt I wasn’t moving forward, I just felt stuck. And I had done therapy, and I felt I was telling the same story over and over again. And I landed on life coaching, so finding a life coach for myself, and in the process of finding a life coach, realizing just how life changing the experience was, and then pursuing certification for myself. And then really taking the leap from corporate world into creating my own business. So here I was coaching women on doing big things with their life, and I was still playing small by sitting at my corporate desk in the office hating my life. So really, just taking a leap and walking the talk.
Lourdes: Oh, I did not know you had therapy. Is there a difference between seeking therapy and coaching?
Sandra: Yes. And they both serve a purpose, both are great. Therapy is a lot of storytelling, it’s a lot of backwards thought, I guess? In terms of rehashing things that have happened in your life. And that’s really important, that’s important to work through. But what coaching provides is, coaching provides this opportunity to say, sure you have a story, that story is most likely keeping you stuck. So let’s start talking about the lessons you’ve learned. Let’s start talking about the places you wanna go. Let’s start talking about the life you want to live, instead of rehashing the life you’re living or the life you lived that wasn’t making you happy. So coaching is very forward-thinking.
Lourdes: Who is your ideal client?
Sandra: My ideal client is the overwhelmed woman living an underwhelmed life. And what I mean by that is, we are all striving for something. And oftentimes, we’re working ourselves into this frenzy to get to this next space, whatever that might be, and we realized oh my gosh, I’m so overwhelmed, I feel so exhausted. And maybe you reach your goal, maybe it was to go back to school, maybe it was to get a new job, maybe it was to find a partner. And you realize, oh my gosh, I’m still not happy. I’m completely underwhelmed with my life.
Lourdes: Apparently that does not bring them joy. And especially if they reach their goal, then what, right?
Sandra: Well sure, and that’s what happens. We get in this track of oh these are the expectations of society, or these are the expectations of our family, and if I just work really hard, then I’ll be happy. Or if I just get that new purse, I’ll feel part of the cool club. So we’re working towards things that really don’t have a lot of meaning other than the meaning we’ve seen other people place upon these desires or goals or thoughts and wants.
Lourdes: Reading your background, you talked about that we compare ourselves, or you’ve compared yourself to others, that may have caused some kind of stress or overwhelm. Can you tell me more about that?
Sandra: Sure. We often don’t just look at ourselves and see all of the amazing attributes that we have as an individual. We often look at ourselves and say why can’t we be more like so-and-so, or why aren’t we as successful as my best friend. There’s this constant comparison instead of recognizing that who you are is what makes you special, and that you don’t need to be like somebody else to be accepted. In fact, when you can fully step into your own authenticity, that’s when you shine the most. That’s when you’re the most successful. That’s when you attract all the right people to you. But when we’re stuck in this comparison mode, that’s when the self-doubt kicks in, that’s when our confidence is stomped to the ground. That’s when we have a lot of anxiety and overwhelm, because we’re working to be somebody that we were never meant to be.
Lourdes: And do you think comparing ourselves, is it through magazines, is it social media maybe making it worse? What do you think about that?
Sandra: I think it’s all of those. I think social media has definitely had an effect on people. That there’s all these curated images of this perfect life. Well, nothing is perfect, right? And we have to remind ourselves that those are curated, those are filtered, those are Photoshopped images of people. Those aren’t real. And I think people get stuck in this feeling sorry for themselves. And what do they do? They watch a show like Real Housewives, or they scroll Facebook and they see all these wonderful highlights of this perfect life other people are living, and they think “oh gosh, what’s wrong with me?” Well, nothing’s wrong with you. And maybe that person with the perfectly curated picture on the beach is sitting at home feeling sorry for themselves too.
Lourdes: That is probably true. People seem to be really unhappy, especially when you’re comparing yourself. How do you pull these women out of that?
Sandra: So, pulling them out of that. That’s, I dunno if I would’ve used that language. I think, when I work with women, it is a self-discovery. It is a looking at what’s important to them and helping them realize all of their own strengths and attributes are really what make them so amazing. And that yes, we can admire another woman, we can admire another person, and what we need to remember is the traits that we’re admiring in somebody else already exist in us, and that’s how we’re able to see them in another. So it’s not so much pulling somebody out of it, as it is this guided journey to… Almost enlightenment, so they can have this ahah moment of oh, I can see that! I can understand that!
Lourdes: You know, I really like your Wildflower name for your business. How did you come up that?
Sandra: So, Wish on Wildflowers, I’ve always loved wildflowers. I have always found them to be so beautiful and bright and unique, and I really feel women are the same in that we’re each unique, we each are bright, we each bring something different. Also, wildflowers are resilient. They grow in the most unexpected places. And as human beings, we too are resilient. And so, there’s a lot of metaphors around the wildflowers, but if we take it back to the very beginning, it really stems from my mom, who was so inspirational, who decorated my room. I used to have these daisies the size of my head, bright yellow, as my wallpaper. And I think that’s just always stuck with me, just the bright and cheery feeling that those flowers evoked, and I think we’re all looking for that in our life. That feeling of joy, that feeling of happiness, that feeling of being uplifted.
Lourdes: I like that. I just was taking it all in and feeling all relaxed as you explained the wildflower stuff, very nice!
Sandra: Thank you.
Lourdes: So Sandra, typically, how do clients find you, and then when they do find you, how do you build trust with them so that they do sign on as a client?
Sandra: Trust is number one, especially in a coaching relationship, where people are becoming so vulnerable, and sometimes for the first time really looking at those internal feelings. So, trust starts from the very beginning, before I’ve even met the client. Trust starts with authentically putting myself in front of others and speaking my truth on podcasts, on my posts on Instagram. I think people can feel and sense the authenticity in another, so as I show up as myself, it gives people a safety to show up as themselves. And generally, a lot of my clients are from referrals, so there’s almost a built-in trust already, because maybe their friend or their co-worker or a family member has already worked with me, and so they’re saying “Oh, this was amazing. Working with her changed my life.” So that obviously gives me a lot of credibility. I also have gotten clients through doing podcasts, and they just hear me talking. And again, it goes back to if I’m showing up authentically, it gives people a sense of safety for them to do the same.
Lourdes: Before you were a coach, you were working, probably at a different place. So starting with your business, what challenges did you have to face starting your business?
Sandra: Well the biggest challenge I had to face was my own self-doubt. I had to really work through the thought of I can do this, I can start my own business, I can step outside of the comfort zone of my corporate job. That to me was huge. I had a good job, I was being paid well, it was safe. And so, the biggest thing for me was again, walking the talk, we can do big things I can do big things, I can take chances, and the worst thing that happens is I end up back in a corporate job. But that hasn’t happened, so it was really overcoming the doubt…. that pops in from everybody.
Lourdes: Oh my God, it is so true for all business owners! We all have that doubt, it’s crazy! It’s scary, and it is getting out of our comfort zone and believing in ourselves to be able to do this. So, what are your thoughts when you’re trying to help somebody? So for example, I’ve heard people say “Well, it’s not about me as the coach, it’s really about them,” right?
Lourdes: So, when your first paying client came on, where you terrified?
Sandra: No, that’s what so crazy! This comes so naturally to me, so no, I was never terrified of being able to hold space or being able to help individuals make a change in their life. That never scared me. What scared me was leaving something that felt so safe. But I’ve never worried about can I or can’t I help this person. Because, we’re all the same, we’re all people. We all have emotions, we all have feelings, we all have fears. And when you approach others with that thought of they are just like me, in that they have self-doubt, they struggle with confidence. Even the most confident person struggles with confidence!
Lourdes: Oh I believe that, yeah. Have you ever had a client that you were not able to help, or you recognize is not the right fit for you?
Sandra: So again, it’s not so much about – and I know I said helping the client, but, the client has to help themselves. So the only client that I can’t help is the client that doesn’t want to help themselves. That doesn’t want to show up for themselves. But generally, the clients that sign on with me, they’re ready. They’re ready to make the commitment, they’re ready to invest in themselves. They’ve done therapy, they’ve gone to different seminars, they’ve read the self-help books, and they’re just like “What is the problem? Is this it, is this all there is?” They’ve gotten to a point where they just, they’re craving more. And in my discovery calls, what I call a curiosity call, that’s a great opportunity for the client to determine if I’m the right coach for them. And y’know, I also listen to them and say are they the right client for me, are we a good fit? Are they ready to do this work? Cause not every coach is for every person.
Lourdes: That is so true. So, having your business, and I don’t know how long you’ve been in business for, what do you think your biggest failure is and what you learned from that?
Sandra: My biggest failure in my business I would say is probably not showing up all the time. And when I say not showing up all the time, I always say to myself oh I could be doing more, oh I could be doing more Instagram Lives. So that’s my self-doubt, that’s the voice in my head showing up. Am I really failing? No, not really. Am I holding myself to a higher expectation? Absolutely. So I don’t really believe we ever have failures, I believe we have lessons. And that is a huge shift in perspective, when you see what could be deemed a failure as simply a lesson in how you wanna do something different or do something better. It’s a game-changer.
Lourdes: That’s a great answer! I’m really impressed with that answer, that’s a great answer. So Sandra, what do you do when you’re not working with clients? How do you destress?
Sandra: I love to workout. I love Orangetheory, I love Pilates, I love taking a walk in nature. Movement for me is magic.
Lourdes: Are you a gym rat?
Sandra: No, I would not call myself a gym rat. [Laughs] No, but I do enjoy the camaraderie of a group setting. I’m at the gym probably 5 days a week, just for that particular class. I’m not hanging out in the gym. But I just get so much from moving my body, from the connection with the people, from watching others and being inspired by other people. We’re all there with this same thought of “I want to take care of my body, I want to take care of my mind, I want to take care of my health.” It’s just such an uplifting community.
Lourdes: Totally. I need to get back to the gym myself, I haven’t done so since COVID days. So, what are you working on right now?
Sandra: Right now, I’m actually starting a new 10-day program called Tackle it in Ten. And the premise or the idea behind this is that starting something new is so hard for people. Maybe we start for a day or we just never start cause we’re caught up in all the reasons why it’s so scary to start. So Tackle it in Ten is accountability for 10 days to launch that idea, or launch that new habit that you’re wanting to do. So for yourself, “oh I wanna get back to the gym,” well if there was some accountability around that, you would probably do it, you’d be more likely to do it. And so Tackle it in Ten is just a group program. We meet via Zoom to kick it off, then there’s daily e-mails and touch bases to make sure that you’re staying accountable and what roadblocks are you hitting and why are you hitting those roadblocks. And so it’s a springboard for something new, it’s an easy way to connect and get started.
Lourdes: Oh I like that, that sounds really neat! A good way to just start with that short commitment rather than maybe months of coaching or something. That’s awesome, awesome, awesome.
Sandra: Well I think a lot of people, a lot of programs are “Try this for 30 days or 75 days” and people look at their calendar and they’re thinking “Oh well I’ve got this… And then I’ve got that…” And all these excuses come in. Well, 10 days? You can do anything for 10 days. And you add 10 days to 10 days to 10 days and before you know it, you’ve got 30 days. And then before you know it, it’s like, oh that was totally achievable! So now you’re feeling good about yourself because you’ve accomplished something, and you wanna keep going.
Lourdes: I like that! I really like that. And yeah, so true, we’re looking at our calendars and going oh my gosh. So yeah, I like the 10 day idea Sandra, that’s really good. I hope you have a link for that for our listeners.
Sandra: I will have one for you, yes!
Lourdes: Great! So, besides going to the gym, what else do you do for fun?
Sandra: Oh gosh. Well, I have a son, so I love spending time with him, we love to ride our bikes. I love to travel. I love to, this is gonna sound so crazy, but I love to cut things out of magazines that inspire me. And I have a notebook, so it’s sort of this living vision notebook. And it’s so soothing for me to flip through a magazine, cut things out, paste it in my notebook. I dunno, it takes me back to kindergarten I guess, cutting and pasting. [Both laugh]
Lourdes: So that’s like a vision board, right? But you’re doing it physically, right?
Sandra: It is, but it’s living. I’m always adding to it.
Lourdes: That’s neat. Oh, do you have a picture of that on your website somewhere that you can share?
Sandra: I don’t! But I… I guess I could post it on Instagram too.
Lourdes: Yeah! I think people would like to see that, it would probably inspire them to do the same thing. Cause it sounds like you enjoy it, it relaxes you, sounds like fun!
Sandra: It is fun! And what’s interesting is to see how I’m evolving, in terms of what I cut out two months ago versus what’s drawing me today.
Lourdes: So it’s almost a form of journaling, you think?
Sandra: Yeah, it could be, sure!
Lourdes: A visual journaling, how about that? OK, we’re about at the time where I ask a weird or funny question, are you ready?
Sandra: Let’s do it.
Lourdes: So Sandra, would you rather never get a paper cut again, or never get something stuck in your teeth again, and why?
Sandra: Oh, that is a funny question. [Both laugh] OK, so I’m gonna have to go with never get something stuck in my teeth again. And the reason being is that I love chia seeds, but those darn things! They get in your teeth, and you cannot get them out! So I would say that more than a paper cut. I can’t even remember, let’s knock on wood, the last time I got a paper cut.
Lourdes: Yeah. How would our listeners get in touch with you, or if they want a coaching session or the Ten in a Day…
Sandra: Tackle it in Ten.
Lourdes: Tackle it in Ten, yes!
Sandra: So I am on Instagram, my handle is @wishonwildflowers so you can follow me there. And then also within my bio is links to my website. My website is https:www.wishonwildflowers.com/ and on my website you can find free resources to download, you would be able to find the sign-up for Tackle it in Ten, as well as scheduling a complimentary curiosity call to just see if coaching is right for you. To see if I would be the right coach for you, and we’re a good fit.
Lourdes: Sounds good. I’ll have all those links on the show notes so that when people are listening to the podcast they can just go ahead and click on that link and they don’t have to stop and write or anything, especially if they’re driving. So, this has been so wonderful, and I’ve learned so much more about you Sandra. I love the idea of the visual vision notebook that you have going on, I have to check that out. So thank you again, and have a blessed day.
Sandra: Thank you Lourdes.
Lourdes: And please join me next week, when I’ll be talking about business owner’s boundaries.
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Website: Sandra’s website: https://www.wishonwildflowers.com
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